Self portrait sitting on bed with hand on my pregnant belly looking toward the window.

It’s not a perfect one, this body. If I let myself I could look in a mirror and rattle off a long list of all the things I want to change about what I look like. It wouldn’t take me long.

But now I have two daughters. One is soaking up everything I do and say, the other about to come earth side. I don’t take this responsibility lightly. Two baby girls who will be looking and listening to what I say about myself as their very first impression on how they should think about their own bodies.

Self portrait photography of Hazel looking up at me in front of the window.

We live in a world where social media is out of control, where it’s a given that any image you see of a woman is modified to make them more ‘beautiful’ or marketable to others as if they are objects, where it’s uncommon to see reality or no makeup.

I refuse to give in to that as our normal. I refuse to not worry about it. I refuse to not put a stake in the ground to show these girls what it looks like to be beautiful and have self respect.

Today I was at the hospital for an appointment. A place that usually fills me with stress and anxiety. But as I closed my eyes on the bed and listened to some positive affirmations on my phone, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I felt thanks and appreciation for my body that has been a home (and still is a home) to two babies. A body that is nurturing, soft, gentle.

I rarely wear much makeup these days. For obvious reasons, all my clothes are stretchy. But that doesn’t stop me from being in photos with my baby girl. I want Hazel and baby Sissy to see that I will never be ashamed of this vessel. I’m proud of it. It has created life! And I’ll be in images with them in order to exist in my own history.

I never do and never will, say anything negative about my body. I will be unapologetic in what I think of as beautiful. I hope I can lay the foundation of positive body image for both of them before they are influenced by the poisonous media and the masses. Real is beautiful. It’s far more beautiful than a facade. I will exist in my photos for my babies.

So, thank you to my body. My squishy, nurturing temple.